Monday, November 30, 2015

Forgive Me

You know those days you go to hear the Sunday message, wanting and expecting God to speak to you, and you walk away with the feeling of "Ouch!"; your toes were stepped on? Well, after yesterday's message, I didn't just feel like my toes hurt, I felt like a freight train mowed me over.... and it was exactly what I needed.

For far too long, I have been "wallowing" in my past failures. Saturday night, I allowed the enemy to speak the same old junk into my mind. When I wrote the post, "Disqualified but Through Him Qualified", I ended the post with a pause in my thinking. My thoughts began to wonder as I sat alone at my computer. I think that is when we are most vulnerable to the voice of the enemy... when we are alone and not focused. In my mind, I started worrying. I began to question my ability to be used by God to do His will and His great works. Then my past flashed in front of me. Ya'll, (Sorry, country girl speak) I went into the bedroom and cried! I fell to my knees and prayed that God would relieve me of the feelings of doubt and help me find peace. I finished the blog Saturday with questions that I posed to the reader. Questions that I, not only posed to the reader, but to myself as well. I am convinced that the enemy will attack when you are on a mission to do God's will. I believe that is what happened to me Saturday night and I failed to see it.

Our pastor has an uncanny way of speaking truth into your heart by way of the Holy Spirit. We laugh with our Journey Group (Bible Study Group) that we always feel like he is talking directly to each one of us. Sunday, Paster B, spoke some truth that I needed to hear. I needed that conviction from the Holy Spirit to slap me around and remind me that JESUS IS ENOUGH! The price that Jesus paid on the cross covered my sins... all of them!

So, I want to ask your forgiveness; for unloading my doubts and for allowing the enemy to convince me that I was inadequate and didn't have business writing about Jesus. That is wrong and I believe thinking that is a sin in itself for not being able to accept the full and complete grace of forgiveness that Jesus offers to those who believe in Him and accept Him as their Savior.

I went back and read some Bible versus that affirm the Holy Spirit's conviction on my heart yesterday. I want to share them with you. 1 John 1:9 states, 
"If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."  
He is faithful to forgive and purify us! Not only that, but a little further on in chapter 2 verse 1 and 2, it says, 
"My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. But if anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father - Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world."
If we have accepted Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, we are forgiven... It is finished, done, finito past, present, and future. If the enemy can keep reminding us of our sins and make us think we aren't good enough, we are allowing him to get a foothold and hold us back from doing God's work. And worse than that, as Paster B put it, if we can't accept our forgiveness and keep asking over and over, we are in essence denying the work of the cross! What we are doing is asking Jesus to die on the cross over and over again. -- and -there -is -the -train... BAM!

Digging through scriptures, I found and fell in love with 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24..
"May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul, and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and HE WILL DO IT." (emphasis mine)
He is faithful to forgive! He keeps us blameless until the coming of our Lord! 

So, I am writing this post, for one, to ask for God's forgiveness for not being able to LET IT GO, and two to help anyone else who has a similar struggle. I'm sure there are others out there like me. God answered my prayer and the Holy Spirit destroyed my doubt. Today, after much reflection, I am declaring here and now that I am done. I will not longer allow "the accuser" (Revelation 12:10) to distract me from what the Holy Spirit calls me to do. I refuse to think about my past any longer.

Satan looks for ways to trip us up in our spiritual walk. 1 Peter 5:8-9 says, 
"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 
If we do not root ourselves in the Word, Satan will try to keep reminding us of our worst failings and sins and keep us distracted by them so that we forget about the grace and forgiveness we've been given by God. I hope you will join me in the mission to become rooted. There are many Bible reading plans out there so that you can start reading scripture and filling your heart with the Word of God. This is one I started 42 days ago: Read the Bible in 6 Months

So, going back to answer my own question from the last post...

I'm throwing down the staff. My past is not my identifier. I am qualified! My God qualifies me through the work of the cross and the grace of Jesus Christ! AMEN!

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