I once held a secret sin. For ten years I guarded my words and protected a sin that I had committed. I lived a long time believing that, "What they didn't know wouldn't hurt them." You know what... it didn't. They were unaware and unscathed by what I had done.... but it was destroying me.
Guarding that secret sin ate me up inside. I became an unloving and selfish person. In my arrogance, I believed that I was better not rectifying my secret sin because it was perceived by others it never happened. What a lie! I was not better. I was bitter!
"For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open." Luke 8:17I was living a lie that Satan himself made me believe. His strategy was to keep me trapped from that secret sin knowing that I would continue to harbor all of that guilt, shame, regret, and fear. I can tell you from experience, nothing destroys a person's heart faster than the attributes of darkness. Living with the enemies of the heart will naturally manifest itself into negative behavior. It is poison to the soul and spirit blocking the light from shining within us.
"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23
Ten years is a long time to keep a secret. I suspect there is someone out there now who might be harboring a secret sin and have done so for many years, maybe longer than I did. I don't know why God chose to lay this on my heart today, but I feel there is a reason. Maybe someone reading this post right now has been grappling with whether or not to rectify their secret sin.
Know this, Satan will do all he can to make you believe it is better to hold on to your secret sin than to reconcile it. Why? Because he knows that if you experience the fullness of the grace of God, you would live the rest of your life sharing your love and faith in the God of all mercies.
"Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy." Proverbs 28:13That is what happened with me. As I was moving closer to the light of Christ, the darkness and poison of that secret sin in my heart was being exposed. Satan was doing all he could to keep me from following the light by making me believe I would make things much worse by rectifying it.
“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool." Isaiah 1:18In my heart, I knew what was the right thing to do. Through prayer and petitions to God, He revealed to me what I needed to do to make things right. I knew that if I didn't obey the promptings of the Holy Spirit, I may not ever have the chance to do it again. As many times as I had turned away from being obedient to God, I knew that there would come a time my heart could become hardened and then it would be too late.
If there is any advice I can share with those who have been grappling with a secret sin, it is this...Don't dismiss the promptings of the Holy Spirit to make things right. You may not get another chance. As hard as it was for me to expose my secret sin, I can tell you now, I am thankful to God for the outcome. What has replaced that hold on my heart is a peace and greater love than I have ever known. All of that poison from holding on to that secret is gone making more room for Jesus to fill my heart with His light and love.
And that is my prayer for you... Trust in God and release yourself from the poison of secret sin so that you can experience to fullness of grace only God can give through the love and light of Jesus Christ.